A personal one for me, I’ve been asked to write about living with a mental illness for a lovely friend of mine and her awesome blog (alifeoflovely ).
Posts like these always take a little longer for me to write due to the nature of the content and personal reasons.
Let’s start with saying what mental illness it is I live with daily: I have Borderline Personality Disorder and ComplexPTSD. I’ll post a few details about below.
Talking by far is the best thing I have ever done! 2 yrs of therapy seemed so long it was exhausting, it brought back so many painful memories and traumatic events. I wanted to quit! BUT I wanted a better life for myself and my kids more. Yes, some days I have to try harder but I have coping mechanisms I’ve learned in place.
By no means is this easy! mental illness does have an impact on your life and others, but that impact does not have to be a negative at all for anyone especially yourself. It’s all too easy to close up and not talk about how we are feeling, but in reality, this is the much harder and more stressful in the long-term.
Living with it? Mmmm, well it’s blooming difficult and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. It’s challenging, hard, emotional, stressful and combining it with parenthood is like a never-ending battle against your own mind. It’s probably the most difficult battle you will ever have to fight! HOWEVER, my God, it is worth it. Fight it hard and never stop until you get the life you deserve and want.
Mental illness has affected my life but it isn’t my life. Traumatic events had had an impact and I had no sense of self at all. Everything was negative and if it wasn’t negative I would make it one because that’s all I ever knew how to live and deal with. Trying to live different to that way of life was to scary it seemed to hard to break away from.
A vicious circle in my head, hating myself in every aspect, how i looked, how I came across. Thinking I was a horrible person that’s why everything happened to me. I never felt good enough. Combine it with just wanting to be liked , loved , cared for , trying to save the world and help anyone created this never-ending back and forth fight I thought I was trapped in forever.
I flipped my life around completely. Now, I know my worth, I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for anything less. I can manage my feelings, emotions and personal perception effectively. I can have friendships where it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I’ve learned to love myself and that’s exactly where it starts.
Hopefully this post has helped someone living with mental illness or someone you know who lives with it. To show you that you can live the life you want and there’s always help out there. Be brave and ask or accept if offered. It isn’t a sign of weakness wanting to better yourself and your life, it’s a necessity.
Follow Vicky’s journey on her blog, linked below.
Thanks for your guest post, Vicky. You’re amazing and I adore you x