The importance of family is that they’re always here during your toughest moments and conversations. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Of course, if we’re to expect help from others, it’s important to help them ourselves. This means taking time to think about their needs, assisting them through the changing tides of life, and supporting them through thick and thin.
It’s easy to think that this follows a formula of “the old giving advice to the young,” but that’s not always the case. After all, as we get older, our needs grow, and we may rely on our younger relatives for more than we used to.
Now, there’s no shame in this at all. But it does mean taking time to focus, to figure out a path forward, and to have those hard conversations. If the thought of having a hard conversation can make you feel more worried than sitting down to discuss matters to begin with, consider some of the following tips:
Set A Specific Time
When you need to talk about something important, it’s best to pick a time that works for both of you to offer some gravitas, don’t just spring it on them out of the blue. You might want to “catch them in a good mood,” but sometimes this can lead to them being unprepared and feeling exposed. Maybe suggest meeting for coffee or lunch, or ask when they’re free to chat. This way, they won’t feel caught off guard. It also gives you both time to prepare your thoughts.
Make The Importance Of The Topic Clear
You must let your relative know why this talk matters so much. Don’t beat around the bush or try to sugarcoat things. Just be honest about why you’re bringing it up. Maybe you’re worried about their health, or you’ve noticed they’re having trouble with daily tasks. Whatever it is, explain your concerns clearly. Tell them it’s not an accusation, you just want to help, but if you’re serious, hopefully they will be too.
Co-Operative, Don’t Dictate
Remember, this is a two-way street. You’re not there to tell them what to do but to work together on finding solutions. Listen to their thoughts and feelings, of which they likely have a few. They might have ideas or concerns you hadn’t thought of. For example, if you want to talk to them about finally sorting funeral arrangements just to be on the safe side, if they prefer Pure Cremations, then make sure to accept those wishes.
You Don’t Need To Figure It All Out Today
Starting the topic is good enough. You don’t need to figure out the problems of the entire world over one coffee. You could say, “Let’s think about this and talk again next week.” Or if you’ve decided on some steps to take, make a plan for how to follow through and keep them posted. It’ll show you’re an ally, not someone who plots against them.
With this advice, we hope you can enjoy harder conversations with even your most stubborn family member.
