Divorce is a big step in many people’s lives, and following those divorces, they typically stay away from their ex-spouses as much as possible. It’s normal to do this, but it may not be the best for you or your children’s mental health. There are many ways you can stay close with an ex after a divorce while still maintaining a healthy level of separation. Staying close is a great way to avoid immediately turning a relationship into something negative that may hurt you and your family.
Don’t Rush Things
It seems counterintuitive to say that the first step for being friends with your ex is to give them time and space at the end of your divorce, but this step does help. Trying to be friends immediately after the divorce and changing the dynamics of your relationship is confusing and creates more complicated feelings. Instead of rushing things, you should maintain distance and let your and your ex’s authentic selves emerge. You and your ex need to readjust to life outside of your relationship, and trying to insert yourself into that process too early will not help them or your family. Take things slowly, keep communication lines open, but don’t inundate them with trying to be friends immediately.
Make the Divorce Simple
If you’re not completely through the divorce process or are just taking the first steps, it’s wise to make a concerted effort to make the divorce process as simple and amicable as possible. There are many ways a divorce can become complicated, and if you want what’s best for you and your family moving forward, it’s advisable not to make things more difficult than they need to be. High tension and the intervention of courts can create a lot of negativity, making it hard to maintain a healthy relationship after a divorce. The best choice is to find the right process for the divorce, whether that’s a collaborative divorce or mediation.
Both are great ways to navigate a divorce while still keeping things somewhat friendly, and at the end of the divorce process, you and your ex will have equitable outcomes. Collaborative divorces can leave you and your ex on the same page, but in a mediation, you ultimately reach a final agreement together.
Stay Transparent
The best way to stay close with an ex after a divorce is by learning to stay transparent, open, and receptive. One of the biggest challenges getting in the way of divorced couples being friends is each person moving on with their life and entering the dating world again. It’s easy to feel hurt when you see your ex with someone else, even if you are no longer together. To prevent these feelings from becoming too strong, don’t hide things from each other. Learning that your ex is in a new relationship with someone else further exacerbates mistrust, a feeling that is not conducive to a friendly relationship.
Staying close with an ex after a divorce is important, and it’s a careful juggling act. Depending on your situation, you may not want to keep your ex too close, but keeping them at too far of a distance can hurt you and your family. Staying friends with your ex and keeping an amiable relationship will always be one of the best things you can do after a divorce.
