You have guided them through life and seen them on their merry way, but for all of the nurturing you’ve given them throughout their life, there are times when your children need to come back to the nest. Whether this is due to financial problems, or there is that gap year, having a child come back can present more challenges than you think. Some parents relish the idea of having their baby return for a bit, but others have moved on, as such, there can be quite a conflict. So with this in mind, what are the practical and emotional solutions to consider so everybody is happy?
Are They Bringing Back All Their Stuff?!
You might have already turned their room into a home gym, or there could be a brief bit of time where they have to sleep on the couch, and as difficult as this is for everyone, ensuring that the house isn’t replete with boxes can keep tempers calm. It’s best, at least for the time being, to put things into personal storage, because understandably, you’d want to keep your house at a certain standard. And it important when your children move back, that they don’t treat the house like they used to. But we also have to treat them accordingly…
Treating Them Like An Adult
The big mistake we make is that we treat our children like they are still children. But if they’ve been out of the house for a long time, lived their lives, and they come back, we’ve got to respect the fact that they have, understandably, changed. At the same time, you need to have set boundaries. It all depends on the circumstances in which they have returned. Ultimately you don’t want arguments to occur every day, but if you politely enforce some boundaries without being overly oppressive, it makes for a calmer environment.
Keep Your Schedule
You don’t have to drop everything for your children, especially when they’re old enough to look after themselves. And maybe we like the idea of looking for our children, but if we have altered our own life for ourselves after our children flew the coop, we mustn’t go back to our old habits. As lovely as it is to have them at home, stick to your routines.
Don’t Let Them Stay Too Long
Perhaps they have no intention of staying, in which case, it’s a nice change from the norm to have them around. But if they are in their late 20s, and showing no signs of progressing, it’s okay to give them a little nudge. Ultimately, they may have a job, and earn enough money, but if they have it too cushy with you, a sense of laziness can creep in.
Part of it is to do with that sense of comfort, and when we go back to our parents, we like being waited on hand and foot, no matter how old we are. But when our children come back, it’s treading that fine line of being welcoming, but also not bending over backwards for them.