When it comes to your relationship, it’s important to be mindful of how it’s doing. Whether you’re in a fresh relationship and it’s just one year in, or you’ve been married for decades.
Relationships take work, and it’s normal for them to go through their ups and downs. Working on a struggling relationship requires commitment on both sides so that a proactive effort can be made to rebuild any trust or intimacy that has been lost.
With that in mind, here are some helpful tips on how to work on a relationship when it’s having problems.
Improve communication
The most important contribution you can make to improving a failing or problematic relationship is through communication. It’s important to have those moments or times to sit down and discuss your wants or needs. You also want to do so without actively blaming the other if you can.
By actively listening to understand your partner’s perspective, your discussions are likely to be more effective and less combative. Making time to connect is important, too, so when you’ve improved your communication, spend more quality time with one another.
Seek professional help
Not every relationship is going to be improved upon just between the two people involved. Sometimes it needs an outsider, someone who’s unbiased and therefore can offer perspectives from both sides. Having a person like Psychologist Mike Novikov could be a great help when it comes to couples therapy or taking on workshops that help with managing conflict.
Breaking those unhealthy patterns that are occurring is essential and something that professional help can certainly help with.
Rebuild trust and safety
You must be rebuilding trust and safety in a relationship. Without either, the relationship will inevitably struggle to survive.
Be consistent when following through on promises you make to one another and hold each other accountable if those promises fail to be upheld. Transparency is also important in all actions.
Practice active empathy
Think about putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. You are more likely to understand their emotional experience, and this is a great way of avoiding conflict in your discussions.
Being empathetic in general can help rebuild a relationship or at least understand the other side’s reasoning for X, Y, and Z.
Take responsibility
When it comes to taking responsibility, acknowledging any wrongdoing in the relationship, and accepting that accountability is key. Everyone makes mistakes, and either party is likely to need to take responsibility at some point within the relationship.
It’s good to acknowledge your role in the relationship and the issues present, apologising in a genuine way and avoiding that defensiveness so many of us often lead with when we’re backed into a corner.
Focus on positivity
Finally, be sure to focus on positivity. Actively look for the things to appreciate about your partner and create a culture of kindness and appreciation, rather than criticising your loved one.
Working on a relationship that’s having problems is a great step in the right direction, especially when comparing those who choose not to do anything at all.
