We don’t often think that kids have to deal with death, but the first time we go through the grieving process, it’s usually at a young age. If you’re a parent, focusing on the way your child feels can help them make it through in a safe and healthy way.
The first thing to do is talk about it, as this can really help your child to open up and prevent them from feeling alienated right now. However, grief doesn’t clear up after a few conversations. It’s a process that everyone has to go through in their own time, and should involve multiple elements.
Take Up a New Hobby Together
If you develop a healthy outlet together, you can make progress in it together, and give yourselves some proper time to come together at least once a week and spend some quality time with each other. The hobby in question doesn’t quite matter, as long as it’s something you all enjoy and are willing to keep up with.
Take Them with You to Meet the Funeral Directors
Taking the kids along to talk to the funeral directors can help them come to terms with what’s happened and how you’re going to proceed as a family. If they feel involved in the decision about how their aunt or uncle or grandma or grandpa is going to be buried, they’re less likely to develop negative coping mechanisms in the long run.
You may even want to let them help you choose which funeral directors to work with. Take a look through funeral directors near me and find one together. Once you’ve booked an appointment, go as a family, especially if you have older children who are able to understand what’s going on but can’t quite talk about the way they feel just yet.
Don’t Be Upset By Their Reaction
If your kids start to ‘misbehave’, go quiet, push you away, or become closer with another trusted adult over you, try not to let yourself get upset at their reaction. If you can’t quite help it, try not to let the kids know that you’re feeling that way. They may start to feel guilty about how they’re coping, which is the last thing you want as a parent.
You want to be able to support your kids right now, and if they’re acting in a way you find personally frustrating, make sure you take that response and put it into a healthy outlet. Talk to a therapist or vent with a trusted friend, then head home to check in with the kids and see how they’re doing.
Grief is a very personal thing to all of us, and no matter what age we are, it can make us act out of character or suddenly need a different kind of support from other people. Keep this in mind for these moments – it’ll make a difference.
If your children are having to grieve right now, do it together as a family.
